Today, November 21, 2014, marks the day I might have been married 27 years. I say might because it didn’t happen that way. This coming December will mark 17 years that my husband has been dead due to illness. We had been married 10 years and 2 weeks when he died. I say might also because I might have separated from him or divorced him, if he had lived, due to mental and emotional abuse.
I was by his side when he died in VA hospice. He had been a Marine out of hight school.
Anniversaries are interesting things. We remember first dates and last dates, when we graduated from whatever for whatever reason and when we failed desperatly at something important to us, when we were chosen by our companion animals and their passing, birthdays and anniversaries, deaths.
Deaths can cover a multitude of items: people, ideas, companion animals, projects, jobs, coveted positions of power, a marriage.
Death can come to a marriage through different ways. The death of a spouse is common. And in today’s world I realize a marriage dies more often through divorce.
So, I will have been widowed 17 years come the second week of December 2014. A single mother to one son. My son still has difficulty talking about his dad as he was 5 years old at the time. I know he thinks of his dad more often than he tells me. He has anger issues. I do not force him to talk about his dad. We had a discussion 2 weeks ago in the car about how his dad and my wedding anniversary was coming up and how also in this year of 2014 the calendar follows the exact same days and times for his dad’s death. So far this season I am fine as opposed to the last time everything fell on the same days. I was a mess.
It is important to me that I acknowledge this day in my life this year.
So, what anniversaries are important in your lives?
Chime in in the comments.
Until next time,